Wrong, Wrong, Wrong
by BlueRoseRabbit
Summary: AU for Grey Metal. Ed and Allen and friends decide to visit an insane old woman who tells stories about a mythical world she thinks she lived in.


**AU for my fic Grey Metal- Used to be placed in Chapter 21 of the story. If you have read all of Grey Metal (so far) before 9/14/2013, you probably have already read this.**

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"I win!" A bulky, orange-haired ten year old grinned at the skinny boy with black hair, who threw down his cards in annoyance. "You can never beat me at poker, Ron Stallion." The boy grinned at his annoyed friend. Ron snapped his fingers impatiently.

"I want a rematch!" He yelled as Harry Breda, the orange-head, swiped money from the table.

"That wouldn't be wise." Elizabeth, a girl with cropped blonde hair and a no-nonsense attitude, patted Ron on the head. "You can't win." She said simply. Ron would've retorted, but their younger friends ran up. Edwin and Wendy were nine and Allen was eight. All were blonde, while Ed had gold eyes, Wendy had blue, and Allen had a hazel color. Wendy was wearing a blue backpack and Ed had a plastic toy sword. Al merely held a little armor figurine.

"Hey, bastard, come with us! We're going on an adventure!" Edwin grinned. Ron looked annoyed at being called bastard, but intrigued all the same.

"What kind of adventure?" He adjusted in his seat, bumping their friend Cain Furry, who had been sleeping with headphones in.

"What's going on?" Cain woke and sat up quickly, pulling his headphones out and adjusting his askew glasses.

"Big bro was listening to officer Mason Hughes talking to that teenager, John Havoc, about the creepy old lady that lives up on the hill." Allen said. "Did you know that both the officer and John go up to see her sometimes? Separately, of course, but they take care of her."

"That smoker goes up and takes care of an old lady?" Ron was astonished.

"Can't judge a book by its cover, I suppose." Wendy said cheerfully. She stroked the mechanical mouse Allen and Edwin got her for her birthday.

"She's totally bonkers." Edwin said. "Her house is black and white except for the doors, those are grey. She mutters about things, about strange countries and people and magic." He whispered. Everyone leaned in to hear better. "And she has no legs. She sits in a wheelchair most of the time, but she has some junky ol' prosthetics." At this Wendy's eyes gleamed. The kids chose to ignore it.

"Hey, what are you creepers plottin' this time?" The teen, John Havoc, a well-known ladies man and underage smoker, walked up. Everybody noticed the gun in his pant pocket.

"Uh...nothing?" Edwin gulped.

"We were just talking about poker, John." Ron smiled in an easy-going, relaxed manner. He was the only one who never felt threatened by Havoc.

"Oh? I see. Welp, I'll be on my way, I guess." John Havoc pulled out a skateboard and skated off. Everyone but Ron sighed in relief.

"Okay, now that he's gone, we can go see the crazy old bat." Edwin grinned. What Edwin didn't know was that Havoc hadn't _really _left and was eavesdropping. He frowned and skated off to find Hughes.

"So... what're we going to do when we get there?" Harry asked. The five boys, two girls, and one dog (Elizabeth's dog, she called him Hurricane) were walking up the hill to the black and white house. Edwin frowned.

"You know... I kinda didn't think through it this far. I didn't think you guys would actually come with me." He grinned sheepishly. Ron, annoyed, wanted to set him on fire, which troubled Ron. He had those odd pyromaniac moments sometimes, and he wondered why. It kind of scared him, how much he like seeing Havoc lighting a cigarette or a fireplace burning. He brushed the feeling aside, assuming a confident air.

"We'll just see how crazy she is." He proclaimed. Elizabeth shot him a concerned look; she always knew what he was feeling. He ignored her and marched up to the front door of the crazy woman's house. He knocked on the door.

No answer.

He knocked on the door again.

_Still _no answer.

"Gah, lets just open the damn door!" Ron threw his hands in the air.

"Watch your language!" Elizabeth scolded.

"Yes, mother," Ron muttered. Elizabeth smacked the back of his head and Ron swore again, causing another blow to be delivered.

"You'll make me go blind!" He complained. "The brain controls eye stuff back there!"

"Agh, shut it, you two!" Harry Breda complained. Edwin opened the door cautiously. No sounds came from the house, so all the children entered. They walked down a narrow hallway that was black on one side and white on the other. Edwin was glad that Wendy had flashlights in her backpack, as there weren't many lights in the house.

"Hello? Anybody home?" Cain called out, nervously adjusting his glasses.

"Yes." Came a whispered response. Everybody jumped.

"Who's there?" Edwin asked hesitantly.

"You should know. You're the one trespassing in _my _house." Came the response. The group of kids cautiously entered the kitchen to find an old woman with long grey hair sitting at a table drinking tea. She looked up, and the group was surprised to find that her eyes were a pale grey as well. They weren't vacant like one would expect, but seemed to see right into your soul. She gave them a gentle smile. "Want a cup of tea?"

"No, thanks." Edwin replied. Al, Harry, and Ron said the same, while Elizabeth, Wendy, and Cain agreed to have a cup. Hurricane sniffed at the elderly woman's wheelchair curiously. She patted his head and wheeled to her teapot and cubbard to pour the tea.

Once they were all seated around the table (Ed and Al found a few spare chairs around the house and brought them to the kitchen), the woman asked them their names.

"Edwin Hoher-Elroy!" Edwin proclaimed with a grin.

"My name is Allen Hoher-Elroy." Al waved politely.

"Nice to meetcha, I'm Wendy Stonechime!" Winry smiled gleefully as she put her mechanical toy on the table.

"Ron Stallion, at your service." Ron gave her a wink.

"Elizabeth Falcon." Elizabeth said shortly. She gestured to her puppy. "This is Hurricane."

"Harry Breda, master cardplayer here!" Harry saluted her as if he were in the military.

"I'm Cain Furry." Cain twirled a headphone nervously.

"That's all wrong." The woman muttered under her breath, causing Ron to frown.

"What's your name?" Allen asked.

"Grey, Lynn Grey." The old woman, Grey, shook hands with each of them. "You," she pointed at Ron. "You like lighting things on fire, do you not?" She stared into Ron's eyes, making him uncomfortable.

"So?" He answered uncomfortably.

"You're a mechanic, little one." Moving on from Ron, she smiled gently at Wendy, who forgot about Ron, too, and beamed. Edwin was not liking this.

"You didn't transmute new chairs, Ed!" The old woman switched focuses again, slamming a frail hand on the table. She was going spastic. Was she bipolar? Maybe senile...

"I'm sorry, he'll transmute them next time." Al said soothingly, which seemed to help calm the old bat down. Everyone shared a "wtf" look.

"Kain, Riza, Heymans," She pointed to Cain, Elizabeth, and Harry, "Protect this bastard." She gestured to Ron, who stood up, knocking the chair back.

"What's with you?! You called me a bastard and got our names wrong!" He snarled. He was still upset about the fire comment earlier.

"No, it was you who got your names wrong." She frowned, her eyes clear and certain.

"She's bonkers!" Harry said, standing, too.

"Your parents were doctors," she pointed to Wendy. "You hate being called little," she pointed to Edwin. "You and fire have a bond," she pointed at Ron. "You're good with radios and tech," she pointed at Cain. "And you're scared of shadows." Her final point was towards Elizabeth, who paled.

"What about Harry and I?" Allen asked. He was frightened of the strange woman, but curious at the same time.

"Heymans is afraid of dogs and Al likes being a knight." She said after some consideration. Everything spoken by the woman had been true. Harry couldn't stand being within four feet of Hurricane, and Edwin hit people who called him small.

"How do you know all this?" Ron asked suspiciously.

"Truth talks to me in my dreams, Colonel." She said dreamily. Her once clear eyes had gone vacant.

"The truth?" Ron asked.

"Truth: the universe, god, all, one, everything, you." She explained.

"Maybe she's in a cult of some kind." Harry whispered to Cain, who gave a frightened little squeak.

"All is one and one is all?" A phrase sprung to Ed's mind. Auntie Spring Curtis taught he and Allen that.

"Yes! Yes, that's it!" Lynn exclaimed happily, her face still looking dreamy, though her eyes were clear again.

"C'mon, guys, we're leaving!" Ron was not happy that the things this woman was saying were true (in a way). It made him nervous.

"No, don't go!" The old woman looked scared now. "It's dangerous outside!" She grabbed Ed's shirt. He pulled back instinctively. A hurt expression crossed her face.

"Run!" Edwin cried out. This woman was nuts. Tea forgotten, the children bolted for the exit. The black and white all around the house was creeping the children out.

"Wait! Please!" She yelled desperately. The children ignored her. She could only sit there while they left.

"She's nuts!" Edwin blurted after they were a safe distance from the house.

"The things she was saying- The things she knew-" Al trembled a little.

"Forget them. She's nothing but an insane old grey woman." Ron said shortly. Elizabeth noticed his clenched fists, but chose not to say anything about it for the moment.

The group said their goodbyes and parted ways. Most of them just wanted to forget the whole ordeal.

None of them knew that the woman watched them leave from a window.

"I'm not crazy. I'm not. I'm not." She muttered. "Right, Truth? Right?!" Tears streamed down her face as she yelled obscenities towards the ceiling, hoping Truth would hear.

Truth merely laughed.

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Character Names (in order of appearance)

Harry Breda - Heymans Breda

Ron Stallion - Roy Mustang

Elizabeth Falcon - Riza Hawkeye (Elizabeth is Riza's codename)

Edwin Hoher-Elroy - Edward Elric

Wendy Stonechime - Winry Rockbell

Allen Hoher-Elroy - Alphonse Elric

Cain Furry - Kain Fuery

Mason Hughes - Maes Hughes

John Havoc - Jean Havoc

Hurricane - Black Hayate (hayate means hurricane in Japanese)

Lynn Grey - Lynn Grey (no duh xD)

Spring Curtis – Izumi Curtis


End file.
